Comics & Side Projects

And now, for something completely different

Here’s a break from our regularly scheduled programming: something I wrote months ago to usher in the Chinese new year

naked

Still from Mike Leigh’s legendary film Naked

Year of the Snake

So many seek
beautiful things,
but not I. For I
have been spun out

from the bright centre, stuck
to the edges as if
my soul’s been through
a horrible centrifuge.

No: I wish to seek
that hard kernel
of flawed wretchedness
in everything.

I wish to wake up to
an irredeemable world
and still want it,
I would want it for that.

So craven and prideful I
go, as I
lurk in the shadows
squat in the muck

choke on pure filth
like swine
I am insatiable,
I want more than I know.

On the altar of the abject
I will slay my loneliness.
Pour your disgust down
onto me until I’m

caked in scorn and pity.
Ruin me, debase me, erase me
sacrifice me;
I am limitless.

And to that wretched girl
who permits me
to drag her down with me
oh I’ll make sure she earns it.

And she will then turn to ask me,
Is this fucking zen?
’cause I wanna know, Kawai
is this fucking zen?

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